It had been a while since I visited the movie section of the HBO streaming app so I was happily surprised to see many new titles to choose from as I sat half naked in my chilly dark living room fighting a flu. I saw many thumbnails for movies that I have yet to see that I have had an interest in such as The Dallas Buyers Club, The Visit, The Nice Guys, and Hail, Caesar! Instead of choosing one of these award winning and well directed movies, I selected Kill Theory.

I can never resist a thumbnail with a scared girl on it and horror movies are like pizza, when they are bad they are fucking awful (did I say that right?). Bad horror movies are almost always worth watching because they will still have unnecessary gore, nudity, and impossible unbelievable situations.

After watching Kill Theory I searched the internet to gain some knowledge on its creation. There isn’t a lot out there. It was published by Lionsgate and was first screened in France in 2008, in Russia in 2009, and it came out in the United States in 2010 via the After Dark Horrorfest IV with 7 other movies. In fact the only physical version of the movie I can find is in the After Dark Horrorfest IV 8 films to die for DVD pack. Knowing that it screened in France in early 2008, it can be easily deduced that the movie was filmed in 2007 making the flip phone and the first Gears of War video game appearance understandable.

While giving my thoughts on this movie spoilers will be aplenty.

The plot of his movie involves one main idea…or theory, that people will kill their loved ones and friends to save their own life. The movie starts with a patient talking to his doctor and the conversation between the two (along with newspaper clippings) reveals that the patient survived a mountain climbing accident in which his 3 friends died. The group of four fell off the edge of a cliff and were all being supported by one rope. The patient was the person highest on the rope closest to the edge of the cliff with his three friends below him. The rope couldn’t hold the weight of all four people so in an effort to save himself, the patient cut the rope beneath him dropping his friends to their death.

This surviving rock climber was charged and agreed to a plea deal with the prosecutors. He spent several years in a mental health hospital and was finally granted a release by his doctor with an additional year of supervision and checkups. The conversation between the doctor and the patient was filled with condescending comments from the doctor about “choosing” to let his friends die. The patient was clearly upset at the conversation grabbing his seat and talking in a short curt manner.

The back story of this rock climber is important because it drives the entire movie. The patient is so emotionally distraught from the incident and angry with his unwarranted criminal penalty, he sets up a death house for a group of college kids as soon as he is released from custody. He wanted to prove that anybody would have done the same thing he did to save their own life. He creates and follows some dumb SAW like philosophy that doesn’t make any sense which makes the movie difficult to get engrossed in.

A group of 7 college kids get together at a remote cabin to celebrate their graduation from college. The group consists of 3 couples, Brent and Amber, Mike and Jennifer, and Carlos and Riley. The 7th person is a fat guy named Freddy who stands out from the rest of the attractive defined jaw lined dudes. Brent’s father is wealthy owning many homes and the cabin they are traveling too is owned by him.

All 7 of these college kids are painfully stereotypical. The dudes are only talking about sex, the girls are dressed like sluts, and the movie transitions from the crew having an “outrageous” conversation into a song that plays up until the group arrives at the cabin. As the large van stops in the driveway the last subtle lyrics of the song that are heard before the van doors open are “lunatic friends.”

Already at the cabin is Brent’s step sister Alex. The step siblings don’t get along but she joins in with the partying.

The remainder of the movie can be predicted by anyone who has watched a few horror movies in their life. The killer sets up traps and monitors all of the members of the party crew who are eventually killed one by one. The deaths of the characters are caused by a slit throat, bear trap/gun shot wound, attempted drowning/gun shots, gun shot/dismembered with shovel, stabbed through eye-ball with fire poker, strangulation, and multiple stab wounds. These deaths were met with poorly written one liners and mediocre special effects.

Everyone died but one, confirming the kill theory of the deranged man. Terrible acting (especially from Freddy who you may recognize from Mean Girls), predictable characters, dumb gore, and an unbelievable plot combine together to form a forgettable and unoriginal horror movie.