With the celebration of Christmas becoming increasingly pointless with every year I get older, one holiday family tradition has survived. On Christmas eve my family will watch a movie together before retiring to bed. This year I brought over The Revenant as it is a great movie and it is one that focuses on surviving in the elements, something my mom is intrigued by. Once I learned she had already seen the movie, I began to panic as I didn’t bring a back-up and it meant we were likely to watch trash or Christmas Vacation for the 100th time.

I opened up the HBO Now app and began desperately searching through the movies hoping to find something that we all wanted to watch that wasn’t awful. My mom and my sister stated they did not care what was chosen as they knew I get grumpy watching terrible movies. I didn’t want to be the guy who made everyone else suffer through a movie they didn’t want to watch, so I took one for the team. I chose Spy knowing that my less pessimistic family members will probably enjoy it. A few years ago I laughed hard at a similar Melissa McCarthy vehicle, The Heat, but my expectations were not high.

Spy is not a good movie and is rarely funny. It felt like it was created by a marketing machine filled with strategically spaced out pop culture references, celebrity cameos, and offensive language and gore. This movie was released in the summer of 2015, not surprisingly just months before the newest installment in the movie franchise Spy is spoofing; James Bonds Spectre.

Jude Law is the equivalent of James Bond while Melissa McCarthy is Q. Jason Statham plays the douchey but likeable other agent who is upset that he never gets the major assignments and Rose Byrne plays the eccentric foul-mouthed villan who is the main driver of the plot. Jude Law is killed and McCarthy goes into the field to avenge his death forming a fish out of water story line filled with hilarious adventures. Not really.

Right out of the gates, noticeably bad gun effects are thrown in your face. The fire blasts coming out of the barrel are youtube vlog quality of special effects. After the intro scene there is a James Bond like music video intro placed before the title screen to remind viewers that this is a parody of a much better movie franchise.

The rest of the film is filled with jokes shot from a machine gun at the hip of over paid writers and pop cultures experts. There are Face Off jokes, porn name jokes, random rats in the office, single lonely woman items turned into weapons, dick pics, candy crush and Hunger Games references, a 50 Cent cameo, and BMW product placement.

This movie received an R rating for the language and random scenes with heavy gore. Of all of the movies to receive an R rating it is strange that this is one of them. Most movie production companies rarely hand out R ratings to big budget films in an effort to draw in the younger viewers to make more money. The gore felt odd and misplaced as the Bridesmaids crowd that this movie was marketed towards, probably isn’t into the knife through the hand and acid burning through throat humor.

I must admit their were a few jokes that did make me laugh. Three chuckles over a 2 hour period isn’t anything for this movie to boast about but I realize I am probably not the intended demographic. I am shocked that this movie has such high ratings on Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB, but what do I know, I am just depressed hyper critical millennial who takes movies too seriously.

 

 

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